What Happened to Kindness and Etiquette?

As many of you know I work as a customer service agent taking incoming calls for many infomercial products. For the life of me I don’t understand why so many people calling in start out just plain angry and mean. You have called me so why are you giving me an attitude for trying to place your order? Sadly unless they are verbally swearing at me there is not much I can do but be overly dripping with sweetness in spite of their rudeness. Yes, sometimes that makes them even worse but I have to admit it makes “me” feel better!

I have seen this same thing in so many places like grocery store clerks just trying to help with a purchase and for no fault of their own being treated rudely. I once had a woman run the front of her grocery cart into the back of my ankles and not only did she not apologize but she seemed mad at me for being in her way and huffed as she ran around me. I almost wanted to catch up to her to sarcastically apologize for “being in her way” but I didn’t want to be on the 6pm news as the woman who got in a fight at Wal-Mart! I once worked at a car dealership that offered a 30 minute oil change. You would not believe the amount of people who would come completely unglued and just plain ugly because it took 35 minutes. Is it really worth chewing someone out because of 5 minutes?

Seriously what happened to teaching proper manners and etiquette towards others? Do people really feel entitled to treat others badly with no cause? To be angry and rude just to be angry and rude? Have you been to the schools recently? There is a serious lack of children with manners. It should not be an uncommon thing to have someone say thank you, please, and yes ma’am/sir yet it is. What ever happened to the phrase “treat others as you would want to be treated”? Is the common use of social media to blame since we have interactions without as much face to face contact as in the past? There is a  serious lack of respect and a growing feeling of entitlement in the world today. Doesn’t it seem like so many people are out to get what the want and to heck with everyone else? We share this world and it would be a little more peaceful if everyone took the time to treat others with respect.

I certainly am not a saint and have had plenty of situations where I am sure I deserved some backlash from someone, but I have to admit being on the receiving end of someone’s rant for no fault of my own even if they are a stranger is not a fun experience. I am not being paid to be your punching bag so go take a Midol, Prozac, Valium or go call a therapist and “chilax” already!

What do you think about manners and etiquette in today’s society?

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Is Phone Etiquette too much to ask for?

Thankfully most of my friends and family are caring enough to use proper phone etiquette but I often have the unfortunate opportunity to speak with customers who could use a little schooling on what they should and should not be doing when on the phone. You would be surprised at how often these incidence happen. These calls could be uncomfortable in any situation but especially to a customer service agent speaking with a complete stranger! Here are just some of the things we are subjected to listening to:

1. Using the Bathroom: Seriously, we can hear you! Especially when you flush! Please do your business before or after the call and if it is an emergency either ask us to hold or call us back. Just don’t take us with you!
2. Television or Radio TOO LOUD! It is very hard to get your information when we cannot hear anything but our TV commercial going in the background. What is worse is those customers who cannot hear us either but don’t think to turn their volume down in order to hear better. I am not going to scream to compensate for your loud TV!
3. Eating: Munching in my ear is bad enough but when you have a mouth full of food and trying to give me your contact information it is impossible to understand you!
4. Watching Porn: Just like using the bathroom we can hear this too! Please please please take care of your personal business before calling and do not make us listen to your porn during the call. I have asked people to turn their TV down in this situation but believe me I will hang up if it doesn’t stop or I feel you are doing “anything else” during that time. GROSS!
5. Baby Crying: When is it ever a good time to order something or call someone when your kid is screaming bloody murder? Please get them back to sleep, give them a bottle or calm them down before calling. Certainly do not hold a screaming child when you are on the phone because being that close to the phone that is all we can hear!
6. Dogs Barking: This is basically the same as the baby crying. If your dog is trying to warn a squirrel or mail man to stay out of your yard please put them up before calling or go into another room!
7. Gases: Oh yes. We do have ears and we can hear every fart and burp so cover the phone, put us on mute or excuse yourself for a moment please.
8. Fighting: It’s probably not a good time to call and order a product when you’re in the middle of a fight with someone at home! We are literally the fly on the wall and know all your business now!
9. Swearing: This can be both happy and angry customers believe it or not. Some just have incorporated swearing into their everyday vocabulary and will just let words fly when doing a normal order. Others get angry and the words start coming. Please realize you are still speaking to a human being and swearing is not acceptable. We do have the authorization to hang up on anyone swearing if we have asked them to stop and they don’t.
10. Prank Calls: It is bad enough from the kids but as an adult grow up! Even with a few beers in you it isn’t funny to call an order line for a kitchen appliance and ask what the customer service agent is wearing. You really think we sit around in lingerie waiting to take your call? Oh and by the way, we do have Caller ID so you’re not so anonymous anymore!

I am sure the list can go on but these are the most common of the phone etiquette problems I encounter on a pretty regular basis. Just realize that although someone cannot see you they certainly can still hear what is going on. Remember our children are learning proper etiquette from us. Take care of what you can before getting on the phone or even answering a phone call with anyone to avoid an inconsiderate situation on that call!

What unpleasant things have you had to listen to while on a call?

Related articles

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• What is Etiquette? (whatiquette.wordpress.com)

Prescription Drugs worth possible Side Effects?

Certainly there are many conditions where the positive attributes of a drug outweigh the possible negative side effects. My thoughts today point towards times when the prescribed drug is for something more minor that certainly makes you question whether risking side effects is worth the benefits of the drug.

We see more and more commercials advertising their drugs for certain medical conditions. All are required by law to list possible side effects. Have you noticed those that seem to take more of the commercial to talk about the side effects then the actual drug and it’s benefits? Comedian Tim Hawkins does a hilarious skit of this very topic. 

Here is another great example: I just heard a commercial on the radio yesterday for Nuvigil. This is being advertised to help those with Excessive Sleepiness(ES) due to Shift Work Disorder (SWD). Yes this is an actual diagnosed disorder. In all fairness I have worked an overnight shift for almost 15 years so I can certainly understand all the symptoms of SWD since shift work often leads to sleep disorders. Our bodies natural instinct is to be sleeping not working during the night and be active and not asleep during the day. Lack of proper sleep can cause someone to lose their focus and even reduce their ability to function. There is an increased risk of accidents due to sleepiness. Many become more irritable or have reduced ability to participate socially. Sleepiness can also effect their overall job performance. Certainly there is an increased risk for worsening a previously diagnosed medical condition. There may be a benefit from this drug in extreme cases but what are the possible side effects? (this list taken directly from Nuvigil.com)

• What are possible side effects of NUVIGIL?

  • Stop taking NUVIGIL and call your doctor or get emergency help if you get any of the following serious side effects:Common side effects of NUVIGIL are headache, nausea, dizziness, and trouble sleeping. These are not all the side effects of NUVIGIL.
    • Mental (psychiatric) symptoms, including: depression, feeling anxious, sensing things that are not really there, extreme increase in activity (mania), thoughts of suicide, aggression, or other mental problems
    • Symptoms of a heart problem, including: chest pain, abnormal heart beat, and trouble breathing
  • Tell your doctor if you get any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away. Talk to your doctor for medical advice about side effects.

  What should I avoid while taking NUVIGIL?

  • Do not drive a car or do other dangerous activities until you and your doctor know how NUVIGIL affects you.
  • Avoid drinking alcohol.

  What should I tell my doctor before starting NUVIGIL?

  • Tell your doctor about all of your health conditions including if you have: history of mental health problems (including psychosis), heart problems or had a heart attack, high blood pressure, liver or kidney problems, a history of drug or alcohol abuse or addiction, or are pregnant, planning to become pregnant, or breastfeeding.
  • Tell your doctor about all of the medicines you take. Women who use hormonal birth control may have a higher chance of getting pregnant, while taking and for one month after stopping NUVIGIL. Talk to your doctor about other birth control methods while taking NUVIGIL.

So let’s recap. First thing that stands out to me is the “trouble sleeping”. Does that seem weird to anyone else since the problem to begin with is a sleep disorder leading to excessive sleepiness? Certainly other possible side effects are common with most drugs like headache, nausea, dizziness, etc. The other thing that stood out to me though that is a huge red flag is mental (psychiatric) symptoms including seeing things that are not really there, aggression and thoughts of suicide. What about possible heart problems? Being unable to drive a car driving a car until you know the effects of the drug can be a problem for many as they still have work and family responsibilities. Do any of those seem like something you want to gamble with?

I truly am thankful for all the medical resources available and the continual advancements in research that improve our lives. I will say again that there are many conditions that require proper medication and in those cases the benefits surley outweigh the side effects. For those people just looking for a magic pill for all your ailments maybe a closer look at the side effects is needed. I mean seriously if you have to take another pill to help with the side effects created by the first pill is it worth it? We really do not want our children learning bad habits by taking medication for every little thing either. Do your research and look into all areas of assistance before jumping into a prescription. ALWAYS ask your doctor about the side effects and if there is something else that might be just as effective without all the possible side effects. Remember many doctors have incentives to promote certain drugs for the manufactures so make sure they are doing what is best for you, not the drug manufacturer!

What are your thoughts about the long lists of possible side effects for prescription drugs?

Music Memories from the 80’s

Photo Credit: musicnotes.com

My daughter has a singing competition in junior high and has been searching for an “oldies” song that is from the 1980’s and older. First of all I am depressed to hear of songs from the 80’s being considered “oldies” cause that then directly refers to me as an “oldie” too!

My husband and I sat down with her the other day and started playing video’s on YouTube of the best music from the 80’s. Be warned if you ever decide to do this you will lose hours out of your day. We could not turn it off! Each song we would say “this is a good one” or “I love this song”. We would sing along and talk about all the famous groups and singers from that time, the cool music videos, or somewhere we remember hearing a song like a dance or party. We remembered when MTV actually played music video’s all day long. As we watched we would cringed at the different clothing styles in the videos not wanting to admit that was ever in style. Even worse I was trying to forget the memories of the big hair. I swear I was brain washed into doing that and I will stick to that story. I hope I have burned all those photo’s so they cannot be used against me later!

The next day my daughter was again playing music and videos from the 80’s. She said that she loves the music from “our” time and how lucky we were to grow up with such awesome music. After spending hours listening to it the day before I have to agree. There are some great songs throughout all time but the 80’s music will never die. Maybe it is because it was during my teen and young adult years but I like to think we had some music with style!

What are your favorite songs or groups from the 80’s?

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When did I become a Taxi Driver?

Photo Credit: buriedwithchildren.com

I hope I never stop loving my car because I really am spending more and more time in it. Along with the other hats I wear during the day my “taxi driver” hat is being worn a lot! It appears that each year my kids grow older we find additional things that require me to take them here, there and everywhere. I swear that my seat never gets cold because as soon as I get home I am right back out the door to go somewhere else. My kids are only involved in a few school activities, clubs and our church youth group. I don’t know how other parents do it whose kids are involved in many other outside activities.

I really think that car manufacturers could make a mint on the “taxi driver mom’s” if they included a kitchen and laundry room so that we could get more chores done while on the road and waiting in the car rider lines! Technology supplied us with all kinds of entertainment in our cars from radio, navigation systems and DVD systems so why not a microwave and washer? You are probably now thinking that they do make that. They are called motor homes. Believe me I have thought about it!

With gas prices rising it is a fear of mine on how these increasing trips everywhere will play out. I go through almost a whole tank of gas a week and I basically only travel within a 5 mile radius from my home during that week. We certainly want to encourage our children to participate in a variety of activities but I do worry how families can continue to afford all these trips with higher gas prices.

On the flip side I do love the time I can spend talking with my kids and connecting with them. We enjoy singing songs and talking about the day. My car has become the place to catch up with them even more than the dinner table anymore!

How many hours a day do you spend driving your kids?

Choose Your Email Name Carefully!

As a customer service phone agent I have heard all kinds of email addresses. There are however many people reluctant to provide their current email because something they thought what cute or sexy is now embarrassing to say to a complete stranger. Most people will use their name or a nick name. Some even have emails that refer to their favorite hobby like crafts, sports, books, movies, etc. Then there are those who think that “sexyman4u”,”urluvbuddy” or even “grannygrannybobanny” is a great idea until they are providing it to someone they don’t know or even worse in a professional setting such as a job application. Most customers I speak with want their confirmation email or shipping notification for their order so they feel obligated to supply an email address. Usually there is the awkward pause and then they spell it for you like you won’t notice what it is really saying but seriously…..I CAN READ! I do like the customers that own up to it and just say it with pride and have nothing to hide.

My advise is to pick an email address you feel comfortable giving to everyone. You can certainly obtain a separate email address for times you don’t want to give out your main email. Many email providers offer a way to link multiple email addresses together to receive and view them from one main email account. There are hundreds of free email services from G-mail, Yahoo, Hotmail, AIM, and so many more if you search the internet.

This brings me to safety for our children. We have been trying to keep up with our children’s interest in technology and one thing we are big on is their privacy and security. When using the internet and other sites requiring email addresses it would be better to have an email name that does not have your child’s name in it. Have them pick an email address that refers to their favorite book, movie, cartoon character, stuffed animal, nick name, etc. Get them involved in personalizing a fun email name for themselves. If you are like us you may also want to have their password!

What do you think about email address names?

You Don’t Say That to a Pregnant Woman!

People sometimes just have no clue! In an effort to be conversational or maybe even a show of support often comments are made that just don’t come out right and can offend someone. Nothing could be worse for an already hormonally challenged pregnant woman.

I came across this article on Yahoo that originally appeared on WomensDay.com which had me reflecting on not only my own pregnancies but the times I have witnessed offensive comments being made to others. We certainly cannot control what others say and of course we can find offensive comments being made at any time, to anyone, for any reason! It just seems that those un-welcomed and uncomfortable comments are more common at a time when a woman can be more emotional and insecure. Just because a woman is pregnant does not mean she is ready to listen to other women’s birth stories. Particularly if they were not a good experience! Not every woman wants people touching her belly, especially strangers. During one of my pregnancies I actually had a woman (stranger) in the grocery store ask if she could rub my belly. Uh, NO!

Thankfully I never really got any of these comments because being a sarcastic person I am I probably would have given them an equally rude comment  right back. Here are some I have heard said to others though:

• “Was this a planned pregnancy?”
• “You look like your going to pop!”
• “You really waddle when you walk now!”
• “You are really swollen!”
• “Who is the dad?”
• “Wow, you’re going to have a fat baby!”
• “It’s about time! We thought you would never have children!”

……………..and the list could go on!

Here is a list of the Top 10 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman as listed in the Yahoo article.

1. Are you sure your not having twins?
2. Your so tiny you can barely tell your pregnant! That can’t be healthy.
3. Are you disappointed it’s not a girl? (or boy)
4. You’re going to breastfeed, right?
5. Oh, you’re wide! You’re definitely having a girl!
6. I was back in my skinny jeans a week after giving birth.
7. I hope the baby gets your nose!
8. Did you see the show about the baby with …(insert horrible disease here)…
9. That must have been a surprise!
10. Aren’t you too old to have a baby?

Oh if everyone would just think before speaking! Click here to see more of this article on Yahoo.

What comments have you experience during your pregnancy or heard said to someone else that was pregnant?

Cash vs Debit Card?

Photo Credit: budgeting.thenest.com

I thought the introduction of Visa/MasterCard debit cards was genius! I hated carrying around and writing checks, carrying cash or using my credit card for purchases only to have to write a check to pay off that amount from my checking account later. Having quick access to those funds makes my life simpler for certain, but does it also have its drawbacks?

The other day my kids had asked if I had any money and I realized that I usually carry less than $5 in actual cash at any time. I always rely on my debit card. It also got me thinking about experiences in the past that maybe I should have learned a little more about the pros and cons of cash vs debit cards.

First we have been victims of identity theft. Around Christmas one year we found someone had spent almost $1,500 fraudulently from our account. Thankfully the charges were flagged immediately at our bank because they were coming from Canada and not where we live so they shut down our debit card access. This was both good and bad. Certainly no further funds were taken fraudulently however we had no use of our cards for transactions we normally use like gasoline purchases. We had to rely on checks and cash until our new cards came in. We also had automatic payments assigned to those cards which we then had to contact those companies to set up a new payment option. By using our debit cards as much as we did it put us at greater risk of identity theft. Although we still use them we are more cautious about where they are used.

The second thing we learned about debit cards is they mean nothing when you have no power! During Hurricane Ike everything you wanted required cash. Checks were not even accepted because there was no way to verify funds. So even if I had a million dollars in the bank there was no way to access funds. Thankfully many stores and gas stations had power restored within a few days either by the electric company repairs or a power generator. Those few days without any power around town made many people realize how vital an emergency supply of cash is.

The third thing is I have been somewhere and had a purchase that was only a few dollars and without cash I had to use my debit card. Stores are charged a fee for card purchases so I am not doing them any favors by making them pay a fee for my small purchase. If I had a little more cash it would be a better option in those situations.

I am sure there are plenty of other pros and cons of both debit cards and cash. I certainly still like the convenience of the debit card but know that cash cannot disappear completely without effecting our lives at some point!

Which do you prefer to use? Debit Cards or Cash?

Related articles

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Fresh Bread Every Day: Easiest Recipe!

Photo Credit:artisanbreadinfive.com

I am a pro at making bricks instead of bread! My family loves homemade bread but even using a bread machine it was not always coming out the best or consistent. I also could not find a recipe that was simple enough to want to do every day. We have been trying to build a food supply and find things that we can , stock up on, store and easily make meals with. This was my dilemma because bread is one food that we felt was important to have as part of our food storage and learn to make it ourselves for times when it was necessary and not just for fun.

We had a friend at church show us an simple to make bread recipe and I couldn’t believe just how easy it is. This Artisan Bread recipe only requires 4 ingredients so anyone wanting to stock up on supplies this would be perfect to add to your food storage. You make it in a large batch and can refrigerate the remainder of the bread to use later in the week. Of course you can always do a 1/2 batch if you prefer. What is fun is you can also experiment with this bread and incorporate just about any flavor combination by adding mix in’s. I have tried Garlic Parmesan, Jalapeno Cheese, Italian Herb, Garlic & Green Onion, and 3 Cheese before but there are so many others you can try if you are creative. It can be fun to let your children help knead in the mix in’s. Although I have never tried it this recipe can be used for pizza dough, rolls and more.

Making the actual mix is also very easy so even first time bread makers can do it. The original prep is just adding and mixing. Then it will sit for about 2 hours to rise. You can then bake some of the bread at that time if you want or put the dough in the refrigerator. This does not require a bread pan but actually bakes on a flat baking sheet. If you have a stone pizza pan those work great too!  For future use during that week you simply pinch off the amount of dough you want and let it sit on the baking sheet for about 1/2 hr until it reaches room temp and it is ready to bake. You don’t even have to take the time to shape it pretty because you can literally just plop it down on the pan and bake it. Let’s be honest too, it can be pretty but it is getting cut and eaten in no time so does it really matter for most occasions? This smells amazing and I promise you will want to make more than one loaf each time.

I am posting a website here for this Artisan Bread that has the recipe, instructions and great step by step photo’s. You do not have to use the brands they list and certainly any large container with a lid will work too so just keep it simple with what you may already have!

Try this recipe and let me know what you think!

“I’m Not Tired, Can I Stay Up and Clean?”

You can’t make this up! My son actually said that to me one night this week. We have a chore chart that rotates each week and some weeks are done better than others. My son is by far the best at doing his chores without being asked and he is only 9. This week his chore was dishes and he made sure they were done! I even found the dishwasher going the other morning to my surprise because I don’t remember many dishes in the sink. Of course when I opened the dishwasher there indeed were only 4 dishes in there and it was going! Too cute! I had to explain to him later that he can load the dishwasher and wait until the end of the day when it is more full to run them.

So back to the title. After doing the dishes one night he decided to clean off the kitchen counter with the cleaning spray. He then moved to the table. Then just started cleaning things around the house like the shower doors, sinks, bathroom counters, etc. That is when we said it was bedtime and he said “I’m not tired can I stay up and clean? Oh if we could only bottle that type of enthusiasm for cleaning! I am still trying to figure out if he really was having fun cleaning or if he just thought that would allow him to stay up later.

We have tried to make our children understand the importance of work as well as the need to help around the house because they live there too. This education and experience will hopefully follow them when they leave home. Their rooms are their responsibility, however most days it looks like a bomb went off. Their idea of cleaning their room is find the closest area to shove something under or into and now that it is “out of sight” it is clean. We are still working on that!  We started with chores when they were younger and of course they were more basic but have progressed to larger responsibilities or ones they are required to do without help now that they are older. Our chore chart now consists of 3 different major chores that will rotate each week so they each get a chance to do something different weekly.

• Laundry:  

1. Pick up all laundry around house on floors and from baskets
2. Sort laundry
3. Fold laundry and help put up

• Dishes:

1. Pick up dirty dishes from around the house
2. Load dishwasher
3. Empty dishwasher
4. Clean counters and dining table

• Floors/Trash/Bathrooms:

1. Clean trash from floors
2. Sweep and spot mop floors
3. Take out the trash
4. Clean bathrooms once during the week

What chores do your children do around the house?